Deep Thoughts at the Alter O’ Domestic Lust

I am now another one of the nameless, faceless victims of a little website called Pinterest.

Already, I’ve amassed an embarrassingly diverse and aimless collection of “pins.” Kitchen ideas. People I’d invite to a hypothetical dinner party for all the people I think would provoke each other the most and with the most explosive results. This is also a dinner party at which I would be required to serve little more than gallon jugs of Jack Daniels, Maker’s Mark, and maybe a veggie tray, making it somewhat more of a cocktail party, I suppose. Semantics.

Stuff like that.

Honestly, from what I’ve seen on Pinterest thus far, I think it’s safe to say that the majority of users are women devoted to home decor, new recipes, jewelry, fashion, and other inane-but-fun topics. I mean, really…guys can’t be bothered to so much as check their Facebook, so why would they want to be on Pinterest? It’s pretty much a material shrine – and even my Pinny page has already devolved somewhat into a bit of domestic insanity (see “Dream Kitchens” and laugh at me. No, really laugh – I deserve it). Honestly, I went into it with the intentions of making these big collages of meaning, and NOPE. Did. Not. Happen.

But apparently there is this other subset of folks who use Pinterest to push their political/personal/religious agendas, and I find that absolutely, completely, ROFLMFAO-inducingly pathetic. No. REALLY.

I’m not sure if some people are really that well equipped to handle the fact that some of us actually find meaning in our lives. There’s some greater motivation than ourselves and our interests, wants, desires, etc. Maybe I’m an idiot because my life doesn’t actually revolve only around me? Maybe I’m an idiot because I believe in a God that lovingly created me with a spirit of grace, not to damn me to hell (which I’m not sure is as literal a place as some folks represent it, but that’s the beauty of a text – it is open to interpretation). I didn’t go into the religion thing thinking “Oh, I’m going into a religion – YAY!” I just knew, at an early age, that there had to be a God. Some experiences I had early on in life, completely independent of parents, family, church family, friends, etc. informed this belief. It was an organic development that perhaps got a bit sidetracked by the “religion” I was a part of. In fact, if you really want to know what I think, religion can suck it (I just said that). I don’t want religion. I’m in it for the spirit. The knowledge that there IS something greater than myself.

I’m just really not sure how some people find their way into a state of existence where they are above all others and where they really are the height of intelligence. Maybe their mommies didn’t love them enough? Oh, I know, I know! Maybe love is for “pansies?” Tough guys, are ye? *pirate face*

My friend Rainy and I were talking “religion” the other day over a nice dinner with our husbands (who are both awesome), and she mentioned something that I think is really profound. She has a friend who is Hindu, and Rainy said over the years of their friendship, they’ve both come to a conclusion, after many religious discussions: They’re pretty much talking about the same “Being.” I know that bothers a lot of Christians, but hear me out: I’m not doing an “All Paths to God” thing because I know it bugs a lot of folks (not because I don’t think there’s some truth in it – I said SOME TRUTH!). I’m simply saying, if the bottom line of what we’re doing here is to honor God, then love is the only way. No, not the love between an unwilling horse named Sugar and that weird guy in my hometown. I’m talking about the love that makes us throw ourselves in front of moving cars in order to protect someone else. I’m talking about the love that makes us wake up at 1, 3, and 4:30 am to comfort a crying baby. I’m talking about the love that makes us put down the bottle, the pipe, or whatever is distancing us from our family and hurting them as they watch us disintegrate into someone they don’t even know. I’m talking about the love that makes this world sufferable. Because really, it’s a big collection of six million people, 4 million of which I would estimate are completely insufferable. And I mean…that’s a pretty optimistic projection.

When I met my husband, I was not in a good place. Or, well, I was on the outskirts of “not in a good place.” I had completely forgotten the 10 year old girl I’d once been – the one who didn’t hate her body, the one who was a little less self-aware/conscious, the one who thought she was better at things than she actually was (as opposed to thinking she sucked at absolutely everything and shouldjustdie). I had given up on the idea of love and decided I would just do what was best for me – which, oddly enough, turned out to be the exact opposite of what was best for me, in more cases than not.

Jonathan committed himself to me long before we were ever “lawfully” married, and Lord knows, that was a brave move. I kept asking him when he was going to jump ship on me and he would just laugh and say “It’s not happening, darlin’.” What guy really wakes up in the morning and says “Yes! You crazed girl with the eating disorder, mood swings, and middle-child issues, yes – I’ll take you for life!” But Jonathan and I connected in a way I never knew was possible with another human being. He loves me unconditionally (Well, okay, there was one condition: no sleeping with other men. I think I can do that.). He respects the woman and the person (because actually, women ARE people. Apparently Pinterest is a really good platform for perpetuating the idea that real Christianity teaches the opposite.) that I am. He respects the mother that I am, and trusts me implicitly, which is a really nice feeling. I don’t run things by him because I have to, but because we’re a partnership, we’re a team, and we’re in this together (“Yooooooooouw and meeeeeeeeh, we’re in this together nooooooow-aooooow!”).

Sorry, fell into a Nine Inch Nails sing-a-thon for a moment there. Where we were?

We’re equals. We’re best friends. We’re kindred spirits. And as human beings, we want to put conditions on EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING has to satisfy us, has to have something to offer us, and has to serve us somehow. Nothing can be done out of just simple good will and love. I think that’s crap.

And I will grip, with bloody fingernails and complete stubbornness, to the conviction that I am right about this. And you know what? Even if there was no God, I’d still want to live my life this way. You know, human beings are animals, but we’re different. We’re not cats and dogs here. There’s something called a conscience that we have (unless we’re…ya know…sociopaths) for a friggin’ reason, and I’m really growing tired of those making claims that all conscience is simply a product of religion and isn’t something we’re born with. Right, because we all know people without religion practice cannibalism – see how INSANE that line of reasoning is? Heck, who needs civility or conscience? Let’s just recede back into our evolutionary roots, kill each other like wild animals, lie, cheat, steal, rape, etc. Sounds like a FABULOUS recipe for a functioning society.

(Now here’s where I get just a *teense belligerent, so bare with me.)

So, this blog is really for those who fall into the following categories and who I pray (yes, pray) are of the minority:
a) Those who think marriage is a useless institution that is “irrelevant” in our society, and who believe all married people are as such simply because they’re too stupid to know better.
b) Those who think stay-at-home moms are all idiots (though admittedly, I’ve met a few). An aside – I’ve also worked with a couple of working idiots – completely anecdotal proof that “idiot” is a condition independent of employment status.
c) Those who think that if you believe in/worship God (ANY ol’ God, for argument’s sake), you are also too stupid to know better and are the reason for all problems in the world.

Listen, if you don’t want to get married, good for ya! I’m not threatened by that decision. I’ll make my choices, you make yours, we’re all different people. That’s how life works. Some people really, I believe, are not built to deal with the daily exposure to the same personality for decades on end. Some people like variety. Some people simply do not feel compelled to “make it official” when it’s already official in their mind (or when “official” scares them the way nuclear war scares most other people). And while we’re on the topic, I’m also not threatened or bothered by gay people who WOULD like to legally be married. My marriage is a sacred thing to me because it involves my husband…not because I’m a woman and he’s a man.

God didn’t put me on this planet to sit here and judge everything other people do. Maybe I’m a little bit “Ron Paul” in that sense. Which brings me to…

If you’re an athiest, good for ya! But understand: just as you do not have to/need to believe as many others, many others do not have to/need to believe as you. Personally, I’ve known some Christians who I thought were the Devil Incarnate, and some athiests who were extremely benevolent, deeply good, charitable individuals who I wanted to be more like. Personality and character *can* be shaped by spirituality, but is not always shaped the way we like to stereotype. I am not the least bit threatened by people who do not believe in God. Which is why I am so continually confounded by the faction of people who do not believe in God in such a hateful, closed-minded, and self-righteous way. Why? You’re just the same as a “Bible Thumper,” ‘cept you’re thumping a copy of “God is Not Great.” Isn’t that going against the whole point of what you’re doing here? Why don’t ya call up the Westboro Baptist Church and get some pointers on how you can be a more vitriolic, hateful, and unbalanced individual? I hear they’ve cornered the market on that schtick. Bottom line: Be an athiest, if you want. Just do it with a little class and little self-confidence, for cryin’ out loud.

Finally, if you’re someone who thinks I’m an idiot for being a stay at home mom, good for ya. That’s all I’ve got to say. I would not dignify that ridiculous an opinion with an argument. Just…good.

As for me and mine, we’re just trying to be better people each day. And yes, by “better,” I mean more like the “ridiculous” God we trust in, on our “moronic” and willful single salary, while wearing our “outdated” and “irrelevant” wedding bands. Don’t like it? Go “pin” it where the sun don’t shine, love.

4 thoughts on “Deep Thoughts at the Alter O’ Domestic Lust

  1. I just wrote a really long comment….aaaand it was deleted by the invisible blog gnome.

    I love how you gently…well sometimes gently…explain your beliefs without putting others down.
    As a Christian, I believe that there is one way to the Father which is through Christ. That being said, love is a huge part of being a Christian. It comes naturally and freely. If you love Christ you will love his people (his people being everyone…). Those Christians who pass judgement on the gay community and those who walk past the homeless without at least a little compassion…I would dare say they need an overhaul of what it means to believe. Love is an extention of believing and it's a different kind of love, a selfless love.
    Also… I am tempted to blame you for my current addiction to Pinterest. I was a recovering Pinteraholic and then you had to go and mention it….now I can't step away!


  2. I have problems with the invisible blog gnome sometimes, too!

    I'm glad my point came across pretty well. This is about as gentle as I get, haha. But yeah, love is the name of the game. I think people out there are all struggling with any variety of things, and it's like, I can go one of two ways – I can make their lives more difficult, or I can bring something positive and good to their day and their outlook. It's a no brainer! Sorry I plunged you back into a Pinterest relapse… 🙂


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