The dreaded measurements

Yesterday was Russ’s 9-month Well Baby checkup, and it was time for the dreaded measurements. Screwy as it seems, I have apparently found a way to repurpose the anxiety once reserved for stepping on the scale (which I’ve finally let go of, for the most part), and have now funneled it into a complete dread of having Russ’s length measurements taken. I am obsessive about making sure his foot and head notches are meticulously accurate, because GOD FORBID he measure longer than he really is (which, if ya ask me, is still too long).

What is this about, you might wonder? It’s just going back to my amazement at how quickly my little guy is growing up – he is shooting up out of his little baby socks like a freakin’ beanstalk. What IS that? I know, I know – I should’ve been prepared for this, expecting this, since I myself am not exactly a short gal and I’m married to a giant. I get that, friends. But why can’t Russ just be tiny forever? WHY? Don’t answer that.

So what’s the damage? Well, none – Russ is freakishly healthy. Seriously, I’m so blessed. If we lived in NYC or LA, I’d pimp this kid out to Gerber and other baby companies (don’t judge me!!), because he’s the picture of health. But his measurements were, as usual, too long for me. He is about 30.75 inches (I round down to 30.5…the doc rounds up to 31…what? It makes sense to me!!) at 9 months, 1 week. Now, here’s the conversation – which seemed logical to only me, I am sure – that followed up with Dr. S:

Me: “So, is he going to be 4 feet tall before he’s 2?!”
Dr. S: “No, I don’t really think so. He’s going to be taller than most other kids his age, and it’ll probably always be that way.”
Me: “Well…is he going to be taller than me when he’s 10?”
Dr. S: “No, probably not. But he might be pretty close. And he’ll probably pass you by the time he’s in middle school, maybe before.”
Me: “Ohh…”
Dr. S: “It’s okay. He’ll still let you cuddle him when he’s 7 ft. tall.”
Me: “WHEN WILL THAT HAPPEN?!”
Dr. S: “I’m kidding.”

I never said I was a naturally calm, logical person.

Not that it matters much, but just for comparison, Russ is 20 pounds on the dot at 9 months, 1 week, putting him the 50th percentile for his age. He’s always hovered in the 85th-100th percentile for length, but has never exceeded the 55th for weight. For the time being, it looks like our little, lean stringbean is doing just fine.

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