I’m really flattered and pleased with the responses I’ve had thus far to “An open love letter to food,” and I just want to thank everyone for reading it with such an open and accepting mind. I know some people knew pretty much everything there about my journey with food, but I think it was probably all news to some of the people who perhaps didn’t know me as well or for as long. So again, thanks.
These past three or so years have been full of so much personal growth when it comes to how I view myself, and while I know our view on ourselves isn’t the end-all-be-all of our existence, it has definitely been transformative for me to get to this place.
I know there are risks to being so blunt about my own past with eating disorders. There is certainly no shortage of people in this world who – be it subconsciously or intentionally – never fail to kick you when you’re down. Those people will continue to try kicking you, even when you’re right back on your feet and taller than them. And that’s okay, because I feel like I’m in a good place regardless. I guess I just would caution anyone who isn’t used to dealing with someone who has “a past” (an expression which I’ve always found to be really stupid – i.e. who the heck doesn’t have a past?) to really think about how you choose your words.
I’m not saying “walk on eggshells,” because that’s really a waste of life and time. But try not to keep that person in the box of whatever demon they struggled with in the past. You know? It’s like…check the passive-aggression at the door (or am I being passive aggressive by saying that? Oooh…chicken and egg scenarios are my favorite!). Anyhow, that’s the only negative issue I can see with this. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, when it comes to my personal issues (with food), I am over them – so everyone else should get that way, too.
This year has really been just a fabulous time for me and my tiny “one butt” kitchen. I have dreams of a larger, perfectly laid out, well equipped kitchen in my future. We’ve got this floorplan picked of a house we’d like to build, and even if everything else in it is super, super plain, the kitchen will be THE BOMB. It’s got this huge island that I want to put a butcher block countertop on – an island that is so big that it simultaneously says “Come, sit down, have a glass of wine, but stay the heck out of my way!” It manages to be welcoming, while also buffering the crowd away from my work space. Basically, it is the same set-up you see on TV cooking shows: You watch, you drink your margarita, and I work back here. Kthx! 😀 Don’t say I’m bossy…
I’m really into fresh herbs right now, so I’m keeping a small herb garden on the back deck. My rosemary is rocking and rolling, but my basil is looking a little sad. Not sure what that’s about, because it was the opposite last year, and I’ve been so good about watering those silly things. I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked…my basil plants may be suffering PTSD from the pillaging they get each time we have lasagna or pizza – I’m kind of known for putting so much chopped fresh basil on top of mine that it looks like I dumped a bag of salad on my plate. You could say that I, um, like basil…just a little.
I’ve got some stuff in the fridge waiting to be used this week, but I hate planning terribly far ahead for meals. But I can tell you that in the next 24 hours, there will be some sort of chicken dish – it’s a toss-up between pan-seared with a little white wine and butter sauce over linguine, or baked with a creamy sauce and some brown rice. I’m BIG on sauces lately. That’s one reason why we’re going to invest in some new stainless cookware possibly this Christmas – the little browned bits in the bottom of the pan make the most incredible flavor base for sauces, and you get the most browning from a plain stainless pan (seems that way to me, anyway). Also, I’m really just trying to get away from all the nonstick, coated stuff. Back to the basics, I guess.
The other thing I’ll definitely be making by about Tuesday or Wednesday is another cheesecake. This one is going to be done with fresh lime zest, reduced fat cream cheese, and I’m thinking I might cut the sour cream in half and sub some mascarpone cheese for the other part. It could be a disaster…but it could also be insanely yummy! I think that’s the funnest thing about what I’m doing in the kitchen – I am not Giada or Rachael or Paula, people. I do mess up from time to time, and when I do, we just sit there and chuckle as we eat.
“This is terrible.”
“Haha…yeah, it is.”
If you can’t have fun with it, what’s the point?