I’ll keep this short and sweet, as I have a much bigger post that I’m working on and don’t want to get too far away from.
Basically, the baby blog thing was getting a little tired for me. Pregnancy was a fantastic, amazing, beautiful, eye-opening, freeing, spiritual, uplifting, revealing, and humbling process. I’m sure there are a few more adjectives out there that I could employ and still not really get close to hitting exactly what the past 13 months since I began this blog have truly meant to me. But it’s time to do something a little different and give myself some new dirt to dig in, honestly. Of course, so much of what I write about has and will continue to relate back to Russ because he’s essentially the thing that my world revolves around. But I have to be honest with myself that my personality and uh…”way with words” (heh) isn’t really always the traditionally sunshiny and nurturing type that people often expect when visiting a baby blog. There’s just a lot more going on than that one thing. So I needed something new to ponder, some new thing to call this scratching post of mine.
And I thought about calling it that – “The Scratching Post,” but then I just felt like I sounded like a cat lady. And I thought about “The Peanut Gallery,” but was sure someone had taken that. I couldn’t sleep last night, in part because I was mulling over what to call this place. And then I remembered my mom.
In college, I wrote a poem as part of my senior thesis chapbook, and I called the poem “Compilation Piece.” It’s still my mom’s favorite poem. I’ll have to dig it up and post it here, but the basic gist of it was that it was me recalling a lot of really random and varying life experiences to try and explain where I was at that point in time. I was 22, about to graduate and get married, move away from home, and do all these new things. At the same time, I was dealing with some exercise addiction/obsessive dieting issues that were really challenging my sanity and continued to do so for a few more years before I got some help. And I know a lot of folks who are close to me are probably like “Oh, it wasn’t THAT bad, now was it?”
It was pretty bad, y’all. I mean, the thoughts that would go through my head relating to my self, my self worth, my body, my relationships with other people…it makes me sad to think about it. I was in a bad place. I’m really, really, intensely thankful to be past that at this point in my life. But anyhow, my mom loves that poem and calls up the ideas in it quite a bit.
“Well, ya know, it sucks about ______ (insert nasty situation happening with whatever), but we’ll learn from it. We’re a compilation piece, remember?”
What I love is that she says it, always with a smile and always with an air of optimism. So I decided that was the best thing I could think of to call this place. It could totally change later. Could be two years, two weeks, who knows. I’m not someone who automatically comes up with this super awesome, all-encompassing title for things. This is just my journal. Just where I yak about whatever. Hopefully you all appreciate it for what it is. I’d like to think you do. 🙂